Psalms 139 O Lord, you have searched me and known me! 2 You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from afar. 3 You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways. 4 Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O Lord, you know it altogether.
How I love this passage! I think back to a time fresh out of high school where I was in a tough place. It was that time of choosing whether I would walk with God because of my own choice or not because of my that was how I was raised. And there were some areas in my life that I knew it was time to repent of and change my course of action.
That time in life found myself stuck in a valley of decision. I had been in an unhealthy dating relationship but had not found the courage to walk away. I was frustrated in the relationship and my relationship with Jesus was hurting. The intimate closeness I had always known with Jesus was broken and I longed to have it back. But I couldn't have both relationships any longer.
In the midst of this battle with my own will, I would cry out to God asking to be whole again. I hoped I could have it both ways. But His answer was always the same, "Walk away and return to Me." Yet I never felt condemnation from Him. Only His love. And He led me to this passage in Psalms. Over and over I read it and felt His comfort.
To realize that even in my sin, He searched my heart and KNEW my struggles! How amazing! He knew every step I took. Every word I spoke. Every thought I had - even before I knew it. AND HE STILL WANTED ME AND LOVED ME!!
7 Where shall I go from your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence? 8 If I ascend to heaven, you are there! If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there! 9 If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, 10 even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me. 11 If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me, and the light about me be night,” 12 even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is bright as the day, for darkness is as light with you.
No matter how long it took me to make the right choice, He was there. He saw it all. No action or thought was hidden from Him. He still loved me. Why? HE KNEW ME.
He knew my true longing. That deep longing to be His. He knew the things about me that I didn't know about myself. And He wanted to see me fulfill my destiny. He never gave up on me because He knew me from the very beginning.
No matter where you are today, know that He sees, He knows, and His love is unconditional. You cannot flee from Him. You cannot hide from Him. And you will never change His mind.