Lessons from a Train
It was a priceless moment. As I got on the floor to play with my three year old grandson, his 14 month old brother spotted us. It didn't take long for that bundle of energy to land in my lap. As much as I attempted to prevent it, those small hands grabbed the wooden train Dash and I had just put together. One section was now on the floor in pieces.
Disappointment was written all over Dash's face. As I moved Roman to one side, I saw the moment Dash's hand went up. His little person wanted to retaliate for the wrecked train. Our eyes caught and I softly said, "That's not the right way, Dash."
Here was a moment. Do I scold the three year old wanting to act out his frustration or let it be a life lesson? Life lesson!! We talked about doing the right things when we get frustrated. I told him how there are times I get frustrated and I just have to let it out.
He got it! With all his pent up feelings, he passionately looked at me and said, "I DO, GRANDMA!!" Instead of actions, he used his words and let me know how frustrated he was. Retaliation gone.
Why not discipline or fuss at him for his attitude? Because he is not at that level. He is a compliant 3 year old who is now dealing with a 14 month old sibling who is nonstop and determined. His brother needs constant attention to make sure he is not found climbing in an unsafe place or grabbing something that could break. Roman has a tendency to attempt to instigate his brother. Dash didn't need me to scold him. He needed me to get to his level and teach a life lesson. He needed a safe place to let out his feelings without being told he was wrong for getting upset at his brother.
Christ talked about this principle. Matthew 12:7 records His words, "But if you had known what this means, 'I desire mercy and not sacrifice,' you would not have condemned the guiltless." In Hebrew, the words would translate, "I am more pleased with acts of benevolence and kindness than with a mere external compliance with the duties of religion." Too often we judge each other's actions. Instead of getting into someone's world, hearing their heart and finding where the root of hurt and frustration started, we decide to let others know how wrong they were acting. Most of the time they just need a safe place to learn life lessons.
We, too, should learn those lessons before teaching them. Let's start today! Let's choose to ask questions and search for the reason they feel frustrated. Just be there!