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To Better Love You My Dear


Proverbs 19:8 To acquire wisdom is to love oneself; people who cherish understanding will prosper.

Ephesians 5:29 For no one has ever hated his own body, but he nourishes and tenderly cares for it, as the Messiah does the church.

Matthew 22:39 ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.

In our journey to better love ourselves, nourish our souls properly and love Gods’s people, I am convinced that awareness of what is with in our hearts is key. If we lack the knowledge of what lies within, who we belong to and who our ultimate Provider is, this self discovery process will be a daunting task.

So, what is in our hearts?

Many Christian and non-Christian behaviorists agree that as humans we are all driven by the core longings in our heart. We all want to have a deep sense of


purpose in life

being loved

feeling understood

being significant

feeling safe.

If, these God given longings, are filled by He himself, our dependency on Him is deepened.

But, if instead, we turn to finite things (relationships, money, power, control, unhealthy behaviors….) to fill these longings, we will unknowingly be lead by unfortunate reactions to life situations. These longings which were meant as blessings, therefore, can become stumbling blocks in our relationship with God and others.

Next time a life situation brings unwarranted behavior patterns or feelings to the surface, ask God to help you see deeper into your heart. For instance, for me, often friendship triangles tend to bring up unwanted feelings of offense and sometimes even jealousy. From there, those feelings quickly turn into me withdrawing from the friendship because of haunting lies I start believing that I am not loved or significant. Sometime this goes on for days. BUT, if I would ask God to bring these unwanted patterns of response to my awareness, I could then take them captive and effectively realign them with the Word and the Provider of all things. Awareness is the beginning of freedom and change.

To begin this awareness process look deeply at the core longings listed above and prayerfully considering these questions:

-What are my deepest longings? Which of them do I believe I cannot live without and remain


-What feelings do I experience when these feelings are not met?

-Have I ever experienced such discomfort from an unmet longing that it brought emotional

upheaval to my life? What did I do with that discomfort?

-What core longing is not being met? What did I do to get/demand that core longing?

So, let our goal be to love well and let’s start with our own hearts by acknowledging the empty places in our hearts, exposing them and letting Him be the the Source of our filling.


QUOTE : “From the Garden till now, we’ve had these deep wants in our soul. But when we left the Garden, we’ve been, well, left wanting. And with our backs toward Eden, we began to search this world - this universe - for the Object of our longings. In our search, we’ve settled for lesser sources to fill us. “

SCRIPTURE: ‘Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart’


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